Woman snaps at mother-in-law after she criticizes homecooked meal: 'I feel like I finally stood up for myself'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 30, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

The kitchen can be a sensitive room in the house for many families. It is inevitable that everybody will have slightly different tastes and preferences when it comes to cooking, and being the person who has to try and cater to them all can be exhausting. It can be a challenge for even the most accomplished of chefs.

This can prove even more true when it comes to cooking for partners and in-laws. There is every chance they grew up eating a lot differently from how you did, and this has to be taken into account. 

Also, many relatives by marriage love to use things like culinary prowess to judge those who join their families, often unfairly. Meals together can quickly be turned into power trips with the wrong kinds of people, making a situation that is already a lot of work into something that is just plain unpleasant. After a point, a reaction is inevitable. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10500098816
    via Josue Michel (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is how one woman felt after she had faced years of her mother-in-law criticizing her cooking. After putting her all into a varied, two-course meal recently, she reached the end of her tether when she faced a meal full of insults. She left her husband's mom shocked by snapping at her, and she and her husband accused her of being impolite. She wanted the validation that her reaction had been understandable.

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    AITAH for having a blowout fight with my MIL when she grumbled about everything I cooked for dinner?

    I (28F) recently had a dinner with my family that was a disaster, and now I'm wondering if I overreacted. Some context: My MIL (60sF) has a long-standing history of being. hard to please, especially where anything I cook. Cooking is my forte, and I've always tried to impress or, at least, please her, but no matter what, it's not good enough. If I cook pasta, it's "too salty." If I bake, it's "too dry." I could literally feed her something cooked by Gordon Ramsay and she'd say it's "a bit off."
    via Zara_Hickman460
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    Last weekend, I took a few hours to cook a whole homemade dinner roast chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, honey-glazed carrots, and lemon tart for dessert. As soon as she walked into the kitchen, she commented on how it "smelled a bit strong." And then to criticize everything during dinner: "Did you not put seasonings into the potatoes?" "This chicken's a bit too overcooked, don't you think?" "Lemon tart? That's an odd selection..."
    via Zara_Hickman460
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    I clenched my teeth throughout dinner, but once dessert was over and she joked that maybe I should limit my menu to ordering takeout, I snapped. I told her, not coolly, that if she did not like eating at home that much, next time she could eat out elsewhere-or better, cook for herself. It immediately felt awkward. She looked shocked, my husband (30M) tried to defuse but was clearly uncomfortable, and now I'm being told I'm ride and overreacting. I feel like I finally stood up for myself, but now
    via Zara_Hickman460
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    Cheezburger Image 10500099072
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)
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    People defended the daughter-in-law's point of view.

    ACM915 NTA - since your husband didn't have your back and stop his mother from behaving like a petulant child, he has now been informed that you will no longer cook any meal for his family, especially his mother. Tell him you are done putting up with her toxic bulls and his inability to have a spine.
    via ACM915
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    Zara Hickman460 OP She definitely won't get anything more to eat from what i cook till i get an apology from here I wont put up with here bulls anymore
    via Zara_Hickman460
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    jrm1102 - NTA no, you hit your boiling point. will this help in the long run? Maybe not.. but, can't fault you.
    via jrm1102
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    Scorp128 You have a husband problem. He needs to shut his mother down when she pulls this nonsense. Never cook a morsel for her ungrateful behind again. People whom nothing is ever good enough for are sad and pathetic. Pay them no mind. That's a them problem. You don't have to entertain that nonsense. No one deserves to be constantly put down and made to feel the way you do, in your home no less. Tell hubby to stuff an apple in the sow's mouth.
    via Scorp128
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    Aggravating-Pie-5565 Next time you cook, just do it for yourself and order takeout for everyone else. Get something from like a 1 star restaurant and just tell them including your hubby "she said and none of you denied that takeout was better so here have your takeout." Do it for every family meal. They'll crack under 5 meals I believe.
    via Aggravating-Pie-5565
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    Vandreeson NTA. Stop trying to please people. She's proven no matter how good you cook, she's going to cr p all over the taste. So why make the effort if she doesn't appreciate it? Your husband should have put a stop to her comments a long time ago. You should come before his mommy and her b.s. There's nothing to diffuse. She said what she said, and expected you to have no spine and say nothing.
    via Vandreeson
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    Level Substance4771 I'm guessing she's insecure and needs everyone to tell her how they love her cooking and feels threatened by others abilities. Maybe her identity is cook, wife and mom My mil was like that and she was a horrible cook. I come from a family of great cooks with some winning national competitions. I realized she came from an ab ive home (dad was physically, mom emotionally), her mom would come to her house when the kids were still young with white gloves and touch all her surface
    via Level_Substance4771
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    She struggled with alc ol her whole life and my fil was a to her all the time and she was lonely. I didn't need her to confirm I was a good cook and for me it was an act of kindness to let her have that. I let many things go and she dd a year ago, so I'm happy she felt love not competition from me.
    via Level_Substance4771
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    MidnightPositive485 NTA. And for real. Stop cooking for her. Ever. If they really want to come over tell them that clearly she doesn't enjoy your cooking so hubs can cook or she can order out (and pay). And if she says you're are overreacting or being petty tell her you just prefer to save your time and effort cooking for people who appreciate it. If you really want to twist the knife feel free to invite over FIL or other family members and cook for them just not her. Consider letting her back o
    via MidnightPositive485
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    centralizedskeleton NTA. Husband should NOT have allowed it to be awkward. He married you. She's being blatantly ride and disrespectful to you in your own house.
    via centralizedskeleton
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    punkwrestler When my friend did this to me I just stopped cooking and let him and others do it.
    via punkwrestler
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    Zara Hickman460 OP That's the treatment my MIL will get from now on
    via Zara_Hickman460
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    IcyWorldliness9111 Those weren't backhanded compliments; they were straight up insults. If you've put up with these comments before, I'm astonished this is the first time you let her have it. You can't win, so don't cook for her again. If she comes over for dinner another time, I'd ask her what she wants for takeout, since you only want to cook for people who appreciate it. She owes you a massive apology and needs to STFU!
    via IcyWorldliness9111
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    FeelingNarwhal9161 Sounds like the hubs has volunteered to do the cooking moving forward.
    via FeelingNarwhal9161
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    BurritoBowlw_guac NTA and I would stop inviting her for dinner. Period. SO can take his mommy out to eat and leave you in peace. I might reconsider cooking for his enmeshed mommy's boy self too
    via BurritoBowlw_guac
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    Armorer- Your husband is an AH for not shutting that sh down immediately, he could have easily taken the opportunity to point out that you spent hours cooking for mil instead he acted like a coward and let you finally reach your breaking point. NTA
    via Armorer-
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    Character-Tennis-241 NTA Your husband & MIL are though. I'd say you under reacted.
    via Character-Tennis-241
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    NoMobile7426 I distance myself from toxic people. I would not cook for her again. It's a privilage for her to eat what you have cooked. Toxic people hurt your family, some irreparably. Just ask me. You did not mention if you have kids yet but I would definitely have her around my children as little as possible. I've seen the damage that type of person does.
    via NoMobile7426
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    Particular-Radio-320 "If nothing is good enough then nothing it is!"
    via Particular-Radio-320

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